My dad bought me a “Who Farted?” themed calendar for Christmas. Classic.

I’ll attempt to use it to its full, smelly potential by using it to help with my New Years Resolutions.


Bah. 3000 words a day is too easy. Which is why I'm going to do 30,000 words! A month!

New Years Resolutions have never worked for me. And I suspect they don’t work for most people (hence the jokes that everyone is familiar with). Why don’t they work? Put simply: it’s an entire year! People often don’t even remember what their resolutions were by June, let alone keep up with them.

Rome wasn’t built in a day. Beethoven wrote the 5th symphony one note at a time. Michelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel one brush stroke at a time. Bill Gates built his empire one 16-hour + workday at a time. I think you get the idea.

This year, I’ll be making 12 different resolutions, one for each month of the year. All of these resolutions will be things that I either need to do or abstain from doing once a day or all day. This effectively gives me 365 resolutions for this upcoming year, all of which I’ll be outlining below. For every day that I “succeed” (whether it’s abstaining from something for an entire day or doing my assignment or goal for the day) I will put an X on that calendar’s day to mark my progress. If I can string together a bunch of X’s in a row, then I’m doing pretty well. If there are a bunch of blank squares on a given month, then I’m not doing well.

In essence, I will be attempting to build some habits while breaking others.

My month-to-month assignments will, more or less, get tougher to do as the year progresses. For example, February’s goal of drinking no alcohol will be fairy easy since I don’t drink that much anyway. But some of the later months are combinations of several goals that I must complete in a day to achieve an X. I expect to struggle with some of them. Here we go:


The Scheme of Things:

January: No fast-food, all day.

February: No alcohol, all day.

March:  Run 1+ miles, once a day.

April: Get up (and stay up) at 5:30 or earlier, every day.

May: Combo of: up at 5:30, run 1+miles, and no caffeine or blatantly unhealthy drinks. (All of these must take place to earn an X. This will be the first tough month).

June: No video games, all day.

July: No distracting internet, all day. (This includes all non-work related websites such as Youtube, Facebook, and news sites, as well as multiplayer video games).

August: No meat in my diet, all day. (Vegetarian for a month, because I’ve always been curious.) *

September: Combo of: up at 5:30, no caffeine or blatantly unhealthy drinks, run 1+ miles, no alcohol, no fast-food, write 1000 + words a day. Eep.

October: No food, all day *. Read 5+ chapters out of the Bible as an alternate sustenance, every day.

November: Combo of: up at 5:30, run 1+ miles, no fast-food, and write 1667 words per day. (To keep up with NaNoWriMo folks. I don’t know if I’ll actually participate in it yet.)

December: Combo of: up at 5:30, run 1+miles, no fast-food, write 1000 words per day, no alcohol, no blatantly unhealthy drinks (coffee is fine (hey, its not unhealthy, right?)), no video games, no distracting internet, read 5+ chapters out of the Bible every day (am I missing anything?)

*= The no meat month and the no food month are both subject to change pending me doing some research on how healthy these things are. If I find that I can’t do these things in a healthy manner, then I won’t do them.


None of the above would be so difficult on any given day. The goal of this New Years Resolutions experiment is to see if I can do these things consistently. I need to prove to myself that I’m not addicted to some things and that I can improve myself and create habits in other areas.

Also, these are just the items I have to accomplish to earn X’s in those months. It doesn’t mean that I won’t have other goals or that I won’t try to keep some healthy habits once a particular month is over.

I will fail to meet my goals some days, especially on vacations : )
The primary goal for this year will be to keep going anyway, to not give up. If I fail one, two, five, or ten days in a row, I’m going to keep waking up and trying my best to put X’s on my calendar. I’ll post every so often on how well I’m doing.

I find that none of these are specific enough. Goals rarely work unless you work to plan them and hammer out the details.


How about you? Do you have any resolutions for the new year? How do you plan on accomplishing them? How hard are you willing to work to achieve your goals for this year?

I apologize if this post wasn’t very entertaining, but I wanted a way to put down my resolutions plan and create some form of accountability to go along with it. I have some interesting things to blog about coming up, including a ton more fiction writing and I “resolve” to post them soon : )

Thanks for reading!

= )


2 thoughts on “Resolutions

  1. ouch!
    I’m going to just do things to help lose weight. Specifically, no alcohol, no fried foods, no fast food except salads, smaller portions, walk every day. There will be more exercise-related items but I’m still busy being bad until midnight to plan them yet 😉

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